The most important thing I learned in college this semester is to say “I don’t know”. I know that sounds funny, but bare with me….
Let me back up and tell you from the beginning what’s been going on…
I went into Liberty University thinking that I was going to be a special education major and I was going to change the world for Jesus by reaching these sweet kids. By the time Spiritual Emphasis week ended (within the first month of the semester) my major was…undecided. Now, I can’t pinpoint one thing that one person said that was an “ah-ha!” moment for me. It wasn’t this great huge moment where I can look back and say it was that conversation with God that changed my mind. The decision to change my major was like water moving under a glacier…it was slow, it was steady, and it was changing the entire shape and direction of my heart. It was the Holy Spirit saying “Listen to me, please.”
After weeks of talking it out with people and constantly seeking God my major was declared as “Psychology: Clinal, Research, and Counseling” with a minor in Special Education and Family and Marriage Counseling. I knew that God still wanted me to work with Special needs kids. I love them and they will always have a special place in my heart. This was right before Thanksgiving break. I was nervous to go home because I knew that people would ask me about my major change and what the job market was with that and the pay for that field of work, and honestly I didn’t know. I knew that people would ask out of love for me and I was afraid to say I don’t know because quite frankly, that makes me sound like a child that is trying to “figure out what she wants to be when she grows up”. That phrase often can have a very negative connotation. It can be very condescending. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Or at least I thought I didn’t but the thought of looking someone I love in the face and saying I don’t know what I’m doing…I don’t know why I’m 10 hours away from home, but I’m trusting God to tell me why. Needless to say, that thought was the source of some stress in the days leading up to coming home. Right before I left I was reading my Bible, and again, I don’t know the exact verse or moment, but all of a sudden I was just like “There is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing”. I realized that I’m a freshman in college. I’m 18. I don’t have to know. That’s the beauty of God. I can say, I don’t know anything but this, I’m majoring in psychology and God’s got the rest covered. He’ll let me know what he wants me to do with this later. He’ll provide a job for me. He’s got it under control and I’m gunna go with what I know and let God control the the unknown. I can say I don’t know and not be afraid. And when people ask me, it’ll be a chance to say that I know my creator has plans for me and I’m just waiting for him to let me know. It’ll be a great conversation started about God and how he works in our lives. So I’m gunna say right now, “I don’t know” I don’t know and it doesn’t bother me. I’ve been saying this a lot lately, but I really feel like my catch phrase for 2013 is going to be, “Trusting in Jesus as always” because that is what he has taught me over the past semester. I am desperately in love with Jesus and with confidence I can say I don’t know.
So my advice for any of you who need it is say I don’t know, because in saying it you give all of your worries to Christ. By saying I don’t know, you give God room to work and show you what he wants so you don’t have to say I don’t know much after that.
No comments:
Post a Comment