Do you ever just have that moment of pure conviction? Where you just know that God’s kinda knockin’ pretty hard telling you to cut it out. Ya….it’s a bittersweet moment. It’s a sweet moment because I can hear the precious words of my savior and I feel really close to him, but then I listen closer and realize that I’m getting in trouble….
Tonight He was telling me that I need to stop being so complacent. I love Liberty University and I know that this is where God wants me, but I get comfortable. I justify slacking on my prayer life because, well, I do go to convocation three whole times a week and I go to campus church so I don’t really have to. I talk to God enough. In moments of boredom, I opt for watching TV on my computer, when I could be reading and praying. I know that I don’t HAVE to spend all my free time reading my Bible. I know that God doesn’t require that, but I notice that the constant submersion in Christianity sometimes can diminish the desire to sit at his feet and soak up his presence. In high school, I had to be a light. There was a very likely possibility that I was the only Jesus that those kids would see and it was a strong motivator for me to stay committed and immersed in the word. (I’m gunna throw in a sappy comment here and thank Ben Huebner for being my accountability buddy and doing devotions with me through texts at night because sometimes that’s the only time I spend with Jesus that day…..so thanks Benny. I really am so grateful for you.) Now that I’m at LU, there are other people pouring into me and the other students and I love it, but like I said it’s causing some complacency in my life. I also have been struggling a lot with gossip. I think that a lot of Christians will gossip through prayer request. At least I know that I’ve done it quite a few times. You ask for prayer about an issue that could seriously need prayer, but then launch into details that people don’t really need and then 20 min later not only are you gossiping, but you’ve also influenced the other person to gossip. I feel like gossip that sin that not nearly enough people take seriously. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as it is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” This verse hit me right between the eyeballs. Somebody could be acting completely horrid to you. They could be mean, hurtful, and spiteful and you can’t speak bad about them. I’m not saying that you should let the problem go, or that you should ignore it…I’m saying that if you are telling someone for the sake of telling them what is happening that’s gossip and that’s bad. If you need advice, go to a trusted adult. They’ll give you advice and pray for you not gossip with you and then hate the person the way that you hate them. Gossip, for me, becomes specially apparent when I am being complacent. When I’m not constantly looking and praying for God’s light in my life. When I don’t desire and long to see him I have a tendency to put on that ‘Christian kid’ mask and gossip in the name of prayer. It’s bad. Tonight, I was just sitting on pinterest daydreaming about my future wedding (which happens an awful lot haha) and I just heard God. Not in an audible way, but in that still, quiet voice and I was just so convicted. For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say, I missed him. I wanted to talk to him, to cling to every precious word that I felt him speaking to me. I wanted to pour out my heart to him. It was so great. But, like I said before, it was bittersweet because then I actually HEARD what he was saying…..my simple ‘prayer requests’ were actually excuses for gossip and that I was the one standing in the way of me and my savior. These are all things that I knew, but it’s definitely convicting to here it from the Holy Spirit. He’s pretty influential in Christianity, in case you hadn’t noticed….I can’t say that I ran straight to my room grabbed my Bible and got right back into the word, but I can tell you that this is going to change. I feel like God is asking me to go on a secular music fast. I’ve done this before and I do know that my attitude is much happier when I do that, but I feel like this time God wants to use it to pull me closer to him. Music has always been a big part of my life and it has a huge influence over the attitude of my heart. So I feel like I need to take some me and Jesus time, music wise, also I’m going to strive every single day to cling to him and his words and when I’m bored, I want to pour myself into his word. At the beginning of this year I started a Bible study on self control, I started it for different reasons than gossip, but I feel like I need to get back to that too. God hasn’t necessarily changed the entire reason why I started the study, that one will be a lifelong study that will call for a constant prayer and calling on God’s strength, but He has definitely added another reason as to why I should continue and study it deeper. I definitely struggle with it and I feel like God is calling me to not only study it because of that, but also because it is a characteristic of himself that I need to emulate to the world.
There is one more part of gossip that God convicted me about tonight that I feel like I should share, you can gossip without uttering a sound. If someone comes to you and starts gossiping, by not stopping them, you are participating. Now don’t go and make it sound like you are the superior Christian and that you are more spiritual then them and that they need to repent. Please don’t do that. We all have our faults and in God’s eyes, his children are washed clean by the blood of Jesus. What I am saying is that if someone starts gossiping to you change the subject, compliment the person they are gossiping about or just tell them the conversation is making you uncomfortable. Just don’t do it in pride. Do it in humility. Do everything in humility. We deserve nothing. We are sinners. The amazing thing is we are sinners swimming in the grace and mercy and love of Jesus.We don’t have to dwell on our imperfections, but we do need to turn from them and run the other way into the arms of Jesus. We need to emulate the qualities of Christ, even in the Christian community.
Trusting in Jesus as always <3
No comments:
Post a Comment