The Joy of Being Known.

I'm a dreamer. 

A hopeless romantic. 

I dream of silly, unique dates.

I dream of a wedding full of joy.

I love to read. 

I love what it teaches and inspires. 

I love to read books that those I love, love. 

A person's favorite book says a lot about what they value. 

I love music. Almost any kind of music. 

I love to laugh. 

I love to watch tv. 

I love to sing in the car. 

I love meeting new people, but I'm terrible at small talk. 

I love just hanging out with people I love. 

I love to write. 

I love to talk. 

I think ice cream is God's gift to the world.  

Coffee is always a must. 

Spontaneity is a favorite thing of mine. 

I can't keep a favorite color for longer than a month. 

I love watching really corny movies and seeing if I can watch it all the way to the end.

Love Does is my favorite book. (After the Bible.)

But also,

I'm a worrier. 

I worry that I am too much and not enough all at the same time. 

I'm insecure. A lot of the time. 

I struggle with shame and embarrassment at my actions. 

I don't love who I am 100% of the time. Or even 60% of the time. 

I'm insecure in how I look. 

I'm insecure in what I wear. 

I'm insecure in what I say. 

I'm insecure in what I think. 

Texting etiquette gives me an anxiety attacks.  

I overthink and under act. 

My greatest source of anxiety is potential missed opportunities. 

I second guess everything. 

The future scares me. 

Sometimes I get really sad that I'm single. 

Sometimes I question every choice I've ever made. 

Now, I didn't make this list because I think I'm worth knowing or because any of this is really impressive. I made this list because something has been bothering me lately and that is identity. I made this list to remind myself that I am not found in all my good and I am not found in all my bad. Neither are you. Personalities, likes, dislikes, and actions will change as time goes on. 

Instead of being known by any one of those things above, I'd rather be known as:

Beloved

Cherished

Adored

Daughter of the King

A woman who strives to hope in the Lord

Loved

Died for

Cared for

Valuable

I guess I'm writing all of this because as much as we hear this in church I think it's important to be vulnerable about how hard this actually is. To look in the mirror, to think about ourselves, to be real and to see ourselves as God sees us is actually so hard. It's hard because our flesh is so loud. What others say is so loud. Pushing through to hear that still small voice is a daily battle. To hear Him affirm us and to love us is really hard to do in this broken world. It's so much easier for me to just accept what I think of myself as truth and that's so damaging to the work God is doing in my life. 

My dear sweet friends,

If no one else has, allow me to tell you that you are worth more than all your good and all your bad. You are worth more than the endless insecure thoughts that keep you up at night and you are worth more than your greatest accomplishment. You are worth dying for. You are loved and adored and cherished and pursued by the creator and the sustainer of the universe. He sees you as His child. It's a beautiful and captivating love story. he knows you. He formed you. He knows your heart and all its desires because He knitted you together. 

So the next time the world gets to loud and your mind won't slow down, seek the face of the one who made you. In His image, I might add. You are reflecting Him to the world. He wants to hold you and remind you who you are and whose you are. 

I think we could all use more of this and less of us. 

Lord,

May we always seek to know you more. May we be a people who strive to hope in you. May we be known by you. May we know you. May we always hear your voice above the noise. 

Amen.