“Why does your dad live at
your house?”
I thought I was ready for
this week. I thought that I had prepared myself for some of the heartbreak and
brokenness that would be a part of this week. I thought I was ready.
I wasn’t ready for that. I
wasn’t ready for that question that wrecked me. I wasn’t ready for the tears
that seemed to swallow up any answer that I could have. I wasn’t ready for a
four year old to look up at me with innocent brown eyes and ask me why my life
situation was outside of her normal. How could I be?
I live in suburban CT. My
parents are sickeningly in love with each other. I have two siblings a dog, a
cat, and my own car. I didn’t even have a rough childhood. My parents are
Christians and I have grown up hearing and knowing about Jesus. My dad dearly
loves me and I have known about my Heavenly Father my whole life. How could I
be ready for this sweet face that didn’t know that Dads are supposed to live in
your house and that they are supposed to love you?
I also wasn’t ready for the
way her sweet face lit up when she told me that she had learned about her
heavenly father at VBS and that she decided that when she prayed she would
start calling Him daddy. My faith has been challenged this week so much, but
never more than in this moment. The innocence of child-like faith is
astounding. It breathes new life into the verse:
“And calling to him a child, he put him in the
midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like
children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself
like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:2-4 ESV)
When is the last time I had
that faith? That love for the Lord? When was the last time I went before Him as
my Dad who loves me, who created me, who knows me? I’m praying that it’s more
often after this week. I’m praying that every time I start to forget and start
to get unhappy with the abundant blessings in my life, this sweet face with big
brown eyes will wash over my mind and I’ll be brought to my knees in humility. I’m
praying that I will continue to know Him intimately and I’m praying for this
sweet girl. I’m praying that she will grow in her love for the Lord and that
she never loses that sweetness and innocence. I’m praying that each and every
day for the rest of her life she calls Him Daddy. I pray that she knows that
she is wholly and perfectly loved. I pray that she knows that no matter what,
she has value and she has worth and that she is died for. I pray that it gets
written on her bones and that she never lets anyone tell her otherwise. Her
name is Rihana, will you pray too?
